Episode 3: Cliffs Notes Version

This week’s thoughts on my favorite show will be non-picture filled, sorry about that…


Date 1: Leslie M

This date started off at the Guinness Book of World Records. Ok not in the actual book, but in a museum. After walking around and looking at the museum Sean points out that his own father is in there (um… random), then takes Leslie outside where they will compete for a world record in probably one of the most awkward actually scripted moments in Bachelor history.

So for 3 minutes and 16 seconds they do an onscreen kiss. Chris Harrison’s blog tells me they were too passionate about it the first time and their lips accidentally came apart, so the version they showed was the hilarious “let’s press our lips together and not move while we’re trying not to laugh and we’re moving our hands around each other to make it look to those who can’t view our lips like we’re kissing”. And they showed the whole thing on TV!

Then they had dinner/drinks and Leslie WOULDN’T LOOK AT HIM. I was feeling awkward for them! Despite not looking at him Sean gave her a rose. He likes her and it’s obvious she likes him but she clearly has this weird thing about not looking at him while she’s talking and it bothers me for some reason! But she seems nice so I hope she sticks around awhile.


Group Date:

This week’s massive date was beach volleyball. Of course every girl looked fabulous in their swimsuits as they competed (literally) for time with Sean. There were tears and WONDERFUL quotes about how this game was the biggest game of their lives (to which I really want to know if any of them were ever high school or college athletes because this game only mattered for them to get to spend a few more minutes with Sean with 6 other girls).

My favorite part of this date was Chris Harrison appearing on the beach in a long-sleeved shirt and rolled up pants. Clearly he missed the whole little to no clothing memo from Sean and the girls.

Poor Kacie clearly has failed to remember the #1 fastest way to get sent home on this show – discussing drama with the Bachelor himself. She has like 5 minutes here and there with Sean, the last thing she needs to do is bring up drama that didn’t seem to affect her whatsoever! And if she’s going to bring up drama the drama between Desiree and Amanda pales in comparison to what would be worth bringing up to Sean.

In a move I didn’t see coming Linsey gets a rose. Kacie freaks out.


Date 3: Tiarra, oops I mean AshLee

This date gets a late start because Tiarra falls down the stairs and needs medical attention. She appears to have a concussion until Sean’s presence mysteriously cures her. She refuses to go to the hospital, opting for Sean’s 1:1 attention instead of medical attention. So we’re left to assume she was ok and was making the whole thing up, but that might be due to some creative editing so I’ll reserve judgment.

AshLee finally gets to go on her theme park date, which turns into a charity event. I think it was really cool what they did, but I only saw parts of it because Bennie had been secretly drinking toilet water while I was running before the show, and decided to relieve himself on my bar stool during this date. So the rest of the episode I was walking my adorable but water-filled Chiweenie and cleaning up after him instead of focusing on the show.

AshLee then tells her adoption story. My former psychology major self is wondering if her OCD-like tendencies and her “personal organizer” career are the result of the need to control her life after living foster home to foster home and being abused when little and some repressed feelings, but… I graduated with a business degree so I could be wrong…

They get a personal concert and she gets a rose.


Cocktail Party: 

The claws came out at this cocktail party. Everyone thought they deserved or needed more time with Sean than everyone else. I felt like I was watching a bunch of middle schoolers.


Rose Ceremony:

This rose ceremony started with Sean pulling Kacie aside and sending her home. She seemed a little upset, and I really like Kacie, but honestly they never really clicked. I don’t think she really ever crossed from “friend” to “girlfriend” in his mind and the drama she was telling him about only made matters worse.

Sean also sent home Taryn and Kristy.


Favorite Quotes:

Tierra: “I get what I want” and “I deserve way more” and “5 minutes is not enough” and basically anything that came out of her mouth had me laughing.

Robyn: “Let’s ditch these b**ches and go fall in love for real”

Sean: “Normally I’d probably wait until the evening to crank up the romance a little bit, but today it’s going to get started a little earlier”

The entire group date (ok someone specifically said this but I’m not sure who): “This Volleyball game is the most important game of my life”

Lindsey: “I never want to stop kissing that man”

Sean: “I can feel the love coming from your heart as you speak”


Best Conversations:

Desiree “I did kick butt in volleyball so I feel like I deserve it”  Sean: “You looked so good in your little bikini”

“I hope I get that rose” “And what are you going to do to get it?” “Whatever it takes” – I believe this was Amanda and Kacie but I might be wrong.


Twitter Moment of the Week: 

Sean (@SeanLowe09): Lot of comments about the opening gratuitous shirtless shots. Believe it or not I usually wear a shirt when I workout.

Bennie’s Bark

Today I had a new neighbor moving in. Bennie was trying to figure out what the loud noises were (or scare him away) and growling and “barking” at him. I missed the growling but here’s the “barking”:


My new goal for Bennie




My new goal for Bennie (my dog) is to teach him how to play the drums!