TagThe Bachelor

Books and Bachelor Villains: A Perfect Combination

Courtney Robertson’s book I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain was released yesterday. While I confess I’m only about a quarter of the way through, so far it has been hilarious and scandalous.

The best part? It was a perfect match for two of my favorite things, books and The Bachelor! Trashy reading about someone’s actual life that I just can’t put down? Absolutely. Worth reading? Absolutely.

My favorite quotes are best summed up by this buzzfeed article:


I’m sure she’s raking in the dough from the large Bachelor fan base that is desperate to get a glimpse into the strange mind of one of the most notorious villains the show has ever seen. If you haven’t watched Ben F’s season of The Bachelor you probably won’t enjoy the book. If you have watched that season, buy it (or check it out from the library if you don’t want to financially support your least favorite Bachelor contestant)!

Vetting Bachelor Contestants

If we’ve learned nothing else this season of The Bachelor, I hope we’ve learned that public sentiment is not always the best for a show. Every single lady on twitter that is hating Juan Pablo right now at some point said “OMG JUAN PABLO HAS TO BE THE NEXT BACHELOR!!!”

Well the collective wisdom of twitter is not always smarter than a few producers. I hope when picking the next Bachelorette the show seriously tests their options and makes sure the person they select to be the next celebrity of the franchise will actually do the show proud.

I would be ok with Andi or Kelly or even someone totally new. Or… perhaps as the result of this season we will soon see a gay Bachelor(ette)!

And by the way the producers reeeeaaaalllllly need to bring back Bachelor Pad.

Link of the Day: Outrageous Bachelor/Bachelorette Moments

Today’s link of the day is a recap of the 15 most outrageous moments in Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise history. While I don’t think this list is perfect, I do think it’s a fun walk down memory lane for loyal fans of the show, and a fun intro for those who have never watched such television perfection!



Who will win Juan Pablo’s heart?


In less than a month THE BACHELOR IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!

So, without further ado, here is my pre-season judging of the contestants:



My Favorites



This Assistant District Attorney who wants to be Kate Middleton and loves Scandal is my personal favorite (and also one of the few appropriately dressed in their picture).




This California hairstylist who is really modest about owning her own salon takes less than an hour to get ready for a date (among the shortest of all contestants) and has never taken a vacation.




She’s Iowan. Therefore she’s awesome.


Lauren H:

Lauren H

This Mineral Coordinator (what even is that???) seems fairly normal relative to the other contestants.


Lauren S:

Lauren S

This Music Composer talks about Vegetable Choppers (apparently she finds them romantic?) and farting in her application. She may be quirky enough for Juan Pablo.




This California free spirit likes the ocean, travelling, and adventures. She mentions Kate Upton as her best friend, and I think she was kidding, but I’m not too sure… She once organized a 50-person nude dance party. So basically she’ll be the crazy one around for a decent while to drive up ratings.




This pediatric nurse lists her preferred type of dancing as “Is drunk dancing a type?” She also defines the difference between dirty and messy in her bio, so I think we’d be friends (yes Mom, if you’re reading this, there’s a difference).




This Brazilian Legal Assistant likes (among other things) Mean Girls, Star Wars, Banksy, and The Lord of the Rings. So if they can’t talk about their shared home continent they can bond over Mean Girls, which I can only assume is Juan Pablo’s favorite movie.







You’d never guess it by the photo, but she apparently wants to do missionary work… Like it’s the main theme in her application and I actually believe her wants to do missionary work. She also might speak some Spanish (hard to tell based on the application), which will help win Juan Pablo’s heart.


Amy J:

Amy J

Amy is a “massage therapist” who’s nearly as tall as Juan Pablo. And one of the few contestants who are over 30 (Juan Pablo is 31). I don’t really think she’ll go far.


Amy L:

Amy L

Outfit judging aside… Amy is a news reporter whose favorite author is Dr. Seuss. I hope she goes far due to funny answers like this:

If you wanted to approach a man you had never met before, how would you go about it? “Walk up to them…how else?”




This high maintenance Elementary School teacher from Texas likes “to dress up, especially for my man” and would bring 6 things to a desert island when asked what 3 things she would bring. Her favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, which is also my favorite holiday, so there might be some hope for her.




This Miami native is a romantic who wants a Fairy tale.




She’s a “science educator”. Which tells me at 24 she hasn’t landed a teaching gig yet. Her favorite snacks are all in the fruit and vegetable families, so I’m judging her. She also talked about giving away toothbrushes in Mexico on vacation changing her life.




This “street smart” Aurora, IL native is obsessed with Adam Sandler and has 2 tattoos.




This first grade teacher seems like the most normal of the bunch. Unfortunately she’s 27 and just coming off an 8 year relationship. She is from Forty Fort, PA, which is awesome.




This Interior Designer likes snap dragons. I like snap dragons. She has a cat but she wants a dog. So basically I approve (if Juan Pablo ever wants my opinion). She’s 23 though, so I don’t think she has much of a shot.




This southern belle has never been on a plane and is a hopeless romantic. She seems nice, but I’m not sure I picture JP with a southern belle.




This Canadian Opera Singer lists her favorite author as Haruki Murakami and likes conversation and food.




This personal trainer would bring a dictionary to a deserted island if stranded because she’d have all the time in the world to read. The dictionary. Oh and “men are always impressed with my food.”



The bottom dwellers according to Marissa



Alli is a nanny who likes her dog and watches Man vs. Wild. I kind of hope she goes far. But I don’t think she will. Hopefully we meet her dog Sebastian before she goes home.




This 21 year old vegan former NBA dancer is 10 years younger than Juan Pablo. Since Juan Pablo strikes me as a leather wearing meat eater looking for someone who might end up as a role model for his daughter, I don’t think she has a chance.




This 23 year old “Police Support Specialist” had really boring answers to the questions.




This Psychiatric Nurse wants a man who is not balding. Reach for the stars Danielle.




Her occupation is “Dog Lover”. Which is fine at age 9, but she’s 27.




This nursing home owner at 25 (how does that even happen?) is from Antelope Acres, CA. She likes to watch sports but has no favorite teams, so I’m not convinced she’s human.




This Martha’s Vineyard Real Estate Agent likes it when her dates “let her order her own dinner”. She also hates it when her date “doesn’t properly introduce her to others.” Since Juan Pablo will have things on his mind other than her, she’ll get to order all on her own.


*All pictures and bio information from abc.com. I’m sorry the pictures are weird and off to the side…

Multiple Episodes of Bachelor Thoughts

So I took a few episodes off from blogging my thoughts because the blogs would be easily summarized like this:


  1. Tierra is crazy but I’m sad we didn’t get to meet her parents (just to see where she came from).
  2. This is the most awesome season of the bachelor yet for memorable quotes.
  3. AshLee is a psycho control freak. Not just in the capital “L” but in pretty much everything she does there’s a hint of control freak.
  4. Catherine looks exactly like my cousin.
  5. Lindsey seems immature.

So now that it’s down to the final 3 I really hope he sends AshLee home. She freaks me out with her not-so-subtle control issues. I also hope Tierra comes back to steal Sean or something else equally crazy occurs that will lead to drama and excellent television!


Episode 3: Cliffs Notes Version

This week’s thoughts on my favorite show will be non-picture filled, sorry about that…


Date 1: Leslie M

This date started off at the Guinness Book of World Records. Ok not in the actual book, but in a museum. After walking around and looking at the museum Sean points out that his own father is in there (um… random), then takes Leslie outside where they will compete for a world record in probably one of the most awkward actually scripted moments in Bachelor history.

So for 3 minutes and 16 seconds they do an onscreen kiss. Chris Harrison’s blog tells me they were too passionate about it the first time and their lips accidentally came apart, so the version they showed was the hilarious “let’s press our lips together and not move while we’re trying not to laugh and we’re moving our hands around each other to make it look to those who can’t view our lips like we’re kissing”. And they showed the whole thing on TV!

Then they had dinner/drinks and Leslie WOULDN’T LOOK AT HIM. I was feeling awkward for them! Despite not looking at him Sean gave her a rose. He likes her and it’s obvious she likes him but she clearly has this weird thing about not looking at him while she’s talking and it bothers me for some reason! But she seems nice so I hope she sticks around awhile.


Group Date:

This week’s massive date was beach volleyball. Of course every girl looked fabulous in their swimsuits as they competed (literally) for time with Sean. There were tears and WONDERFUL quotes about how this game was the biggest game of their lives (to which I really want to know if any of them were ever high school or college athletes because this game only mattered for them to get to spend a few more minutes with Sean with 6 other girls).

My favorite part of this date was Chris Harrison appearing on the beach in a long-sleeved shirt and rolled up pants. Clearly he missed the whole little to no clothing memo from Sean and the girls.

Poor Kacie clearly has failed to remember the #1 fastest way to get sent home on this show – discussing drama with the Bachelor himself. She has like 5 minutes here and there with Sean, the last thing she needs to do is bring up drama that didn’t seem to affect her whatsoever! And if she’s going to bring up drama the drama between Desiree and Amanda pales in comparison to what would be worth bringing up to Sean.

In a move I didn’t see coming Linsey gets a rose. Kacie freaks out.


Date 3: Tiarra, oops I mean AshLee

This date gets a late start because Tiarra falls down the stairs and needs medical attention. She appears to have a concussion until Sean’s presence mysteriously cures her. She refuses to go to the hospital, opting for Sean’s 1:1 attention instead of medical attention. So we’re left to assume she was ok and was making the whole thing up, but that might be due to some creative editing so I’ll reserve judgment.

AshLee finally gets to go on her theme park date, which turns into a charity event. I think it was really cool what they did, but I only saw parts of it because Bennie had been secretly drinking toilet water while I was running before the show, and decided to relieve himself on my bar stool during this date. So the rest of the episode I was walking my adorable but water-filled Chiweenie and cleaning up after him instead of focusing on the show.

AshLee then tells her adoption story. My former psychology major self is wondering if her OCD-like tendencies and her “personal organizer” career are the result of the need to control her life after living foster home to foster home and being abused when little and some repressed feelings, but… I graduated with a business degree so I could be wrong…

They get a personal concert and she gets a rose.


Cocktail Party: 

The claws came out at this cocktail party. Everyone thought they deserved or needed more time with Sean than everyone else. I felt like I was watching a bunch of middle schoolers.


Rose Ceremony:

This rose ceremony started with Sean pulling Kacie aside and sending her home. She seemed a little upset, and I really like Kacie, but honestly they never really clicked. I don’t think she really ever crossed from “friend” to “girlfriend” in his mind and the drama she was telling him about only made matters worse.

Sean also sent home Taryn and Kristy.


Favorite Quotes:

Tierra: “I get what I want” and “I deserve way more” and “5 minutes is not enough” and basically anything that came out of her mouth had me laughing.

Robyn: “Let’s ditch these b**ches and go fall in love for real”

Sean: “Normally I’d probably wait until the evening to crank up the romance a little bit, but today it’s going to get started a little earlier”

The entire group date (ok someone specifically said this but I’m not sure who): “This Volleyball game is the most important game of my life”

Lindsey: “I never want to stop kissing that man”

Sean: “I can feel the love coming from your heart as you speak”


Best Conversations:

Desiree “I did kick butt in volleyball so I feel like I deserve it”  Sean: “You looked so good in your little bikini”

“I hope I get that rose” “And what are you going to do to get it?” “Whatever it takes” – I believe this was Amanda and Kacie but I might be wrong.


Twitter Moment of the Week: 

Sean (@SeanLowe09): Lot of comments about the opening gratuitous shirtless shots. Believe it or not I usually wear a shirt when I workout.

How Sean gets his roses

My favorite Jimmy Kimmel moment:

Episode 2: The Sunburn Continues

In the first shot of this episode the sunburn continues:

Date 1

Sarah gets the first 1:1 date. This makes me happy. She seems like she’s actually a nice person, a little insecure about her lack of arm, but very nice! She also makes me feel pathetic because she’s in that good of shape with one arm, so basically I have no excuse.

The date starts off with a helicopter. How stereotypical Bachelor. Then conquering someone’s fear of heights. Shocker.

Sean listened to her talk about having one arm for all of dinner, then gave her a rose and claimed there were butterflies. “I feel like I’m falling in love with Sean” says Sarah in her slightly whiny voice… She’s known him for less than 24 hours at this point and he’s dating 20 other women, she might be getting a bit ahead of herself.

Quote of the Date: “I do consider myself a man” – Sean. Does that mean others don’t?


Date 2

Now we’re on to the world’s largest group date. And of course they put the weird eyebrow chick (Tierra) who the previews tell me will be the crazy one this season. They start the date off in typical Bachelor style in the limos drinking Mimosas, where it appeared only 2 girls even bothered with the orange juice.

They’re going to be modeling for trashy romance book covers. Naturally Kristy, the model who is probably just on the show to get her big break, is really excited. Sean’s shirt comes off immediately, and Kristy wastes no time in poking his abs to see if they’re real.

Robyn then starts talking about how much she doesn’t like Tierra while sitting next to her, and we’re left hanging but I’m going to assume Tierra heard her based on the look on her face:

Tierra then says “Trust me, I’m smart” and winks at the camera with her ridiculous eyebrows moving in their own direction.

They start the photos and according to Sean “Lesley made a big impression on me today,” so he noticed she has abs that rival his, and realized their children would be abtastic.

Kristy wins the cover and is incredibly excited. America rolls our eyes. Kristy (25) “I have practiced in front of the camera for 8+ years” and I assume she’s at most a high school graduate.

This prompts the Quote of the Date: “Girl you can have the cover, I’m going to have the man” – I don’t know who said this, but Kristy was totally after the cover and not impressing the man.

The date continues and Tierra tells us “I’m focusing on me. Otherwise I’m going to get hurt. I’m not here to get hurt.” Then what are you here for? Your reaction to Sean being the Bachelor tells us you’ve watched previous seasons and know your chances are 1/26. In case you missed that reaction here it is:

Lesley and Sean get some 1:1 time. Lesley told herself she wouldn’t tell him she was there for love. What was she going to tell him, that she was there for his abs? “I’ll let you stare all night” he says in their awkward alone time. I chuckle.

Kacie gets the rose and says “I got taken out of the friend zone tonight” because they talked. There were no kisses to establish being out of the friend zone (unless I missed this, entirely possibly since my new dog picked this moment to become enthralled with my Christmas ornaments), but they decided she’s out of the friend zone so she apparently is.


Date 3

Poor Desiree only gets a Limo (no helicopter) to take her to an art gallery. “We walk into this art gallery and I absolutely love it” says Desiree. I somehow doubt it. Very very few people would actually enjoy going to an art exhibit. And the 1.5 million dollar piece looks kind of like my elementary school art projects with a Christmas ornament on top. Desiree clearly thinks it’s weird too so I’ve decided I like her.

He then pranks Desiree and the artwork shatters. I’d completely flip. Instead of freaking out and looking ridiculous (that would’ve been my reaction) Desiree freaks out while still managing to look adorable:

Desiree was a good sport about it, and the guy admits that it was a $5 piece of artwork. This shows that the average person can’t tell a weird $5 thing from a 1.5 million piece of artwork. This whole thing also made me think Sean (unlike Emily) is a real person who likes to do things like pranks, so this season should be more enjoyable.

Then Sean takes her back to his place. My favorite part of this date was her reaction to him giving her a rose. After what he did to her he deserved it, and it showed that she also has a sense of humor.

Quotes of the Date:

“You want to be my best friend?” – Desiree to Sean (also a trending topic in the local playground).

“She’s really blowing me away with her depth” – the first time these words have ever been uttered on the Bachelor or really ever in reference to someone in the fashion industry.

“You have seen 100% of me” um unless the cameras left for awhile I don’t think so…

“Our physical connection is phenomenal.” says Desiree before they’ve even kissed.


Cocktail Party:

At the cocktail party we are re-introduced to Amanda, who just doesn’t respond to anything. Unless they did some creative editing here that was bizarre. Really bizarre. This is apparently causing tension, but I’d rather have someone who isn’t bothering to talk than Tierra, but that’s just me. Don’t worry though Amanda lights up the second she talks to Sean.


Then Amanda starts drinking coffee.  This reminded me of my boyfriend who pregames going out with coffee, except she’s literally drinking coffee at a cocktail party. That’s like going to a pizza party and eating a taco, pointless and against the name of the event!

I can already tell though that Robyn is going to be that girl that lets others get to her this season. Tierra’s really bothering her and so is Amanda. There’s one every season – someone who lets the crazies get to her and it ends up hurting her own chances. I like Robyn so I hope this prediction is wrong. She seems like she actually has some brains behind that former professional cheerleader body (they’re keeping that quiet and playing up the engineer part).

Quote of the Night: “I feel a little silly about that night. The champagne was flowing” says the substitute teacher who wore a wedding dress the first night. Parents everywhere check to make sure their teachers got a flu shot and are never in need of a substitute.


Rose Ceremony:

“Love just was not here” – Brooke speaks the truth about the Bachelor mansion over the course of time after not getting a rose.

He also sent home the single mother of two who also happens to be Jef’s hairdresser (show failed to mention that). I kind of liked her and Brooke so them going home over people who the edits failed to even bother with kind of made me sad.


Next Episode:

“I can feel Lesley’s body starting to tremble as well as mine” then ambulances and more of Sean’s shirt off are in our future.

The Bachelor is back!


First of all the intro this week made me feel bad for Sean. He’s clearly actually looking for a wife, and, well, if The Bachelor’s past is any indicator it likely won’t work out in the long run. But he’s adorable so I’m hoping he ends up happy (not just in the short term)! In case you don’t know about the show’s relationship record: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bachelor_(U.S._TV_series)

I’m pretty sure Sean never wears shirts. Unless he’s in the mountains, where he wears grandma sweaters. I can’t blame him though, if I had his abs I’d show them off as often as possible too!

Also is Sean always sunburnt? It seems like it.

The memorable contestants of the night:
Ashley P- “I have no idea why I’m still single” Maybe it’s the awkward color of lip gloss or her obsession with Christian Grey, or that you say things on camera like “I totally hope Sean rips my clothes off and spanks me” on national TV? “Fifty shades of Grey may have become fifty shades of drunk tonight” – Sean speaks the truth about Ashley P.

Lesley – “I don’t like the nerds and I don’t like the politicians” then why did you move to DC?

Kristy – “I love being in the spotlight” “Girls will be jealous of me” – she seems like a plant for drama. “Did you invite these other girls, because I didn’t.”

AshLee – Professional organizer. Seems a little OCD. “Everything in my life is organized except my love life.”  Also she is running in pink pants in her intro, so I somehow doubt she runs on a frequent basis.

Catherine – She seemed REALLY nervous. Shaking from side to side nervous. “It was literally like an animal attack on the eyeballs” was a great line though.

Lindsay – Wedding dress on night one? Kiss on night one? Presumptuous. “I’ve got balls” “Well I hope not” was the best initial conversation. “I wish I was more sober” – I don’t, she added entertainment to night one!

Kacie B – She was my favorite on Ben’s season!!!! I want her and Sean to love each other SOOOOO much!!!! Her quote about Ashley – “She just needs a lot of water. Water people.” was my favorite.

Best Sean Quotes:
“I also brought a rape whistle in case I’m in trouble” – I think Sean needed that for Ashley.

“I can’t use ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ because it’s obviously going to be them” – Favorite Quote of the night award!

Closing thought: Whoever decided to put a mic in the limo is a genius.

Why am I still watching The Bachelor this season?

I have a confession to make.

My favorite TV show is The Bachelor (or Bachelorette or Bachelor Pad depending on which is on at the time). My favorite part of the show? The drama, the ridiculous premise, the egos, and… more drama.

Despite watching for the drama I really do find myself wanting (most) people on the show to find love. Deep down the hopeless romantic within me wants at least one successful relationship to emerge out of every season. At the same time I love the drama and ridiculous idea of the show. Talking about how your relationship is progressing and only how your relationship is progressing for a few weeks while one is just trying to win a contest with a proposal as a prize seems like probably one of the worst ways to attempt to find love. Which is what makes The Bachelor so wonderful!  Throw in the drama of 25 women dating the same guy and living in the same place and I’m hooked.

This season’s been a bit different. I find myself not wanting Ben F to find love. I didn’t like him on Ashley’s season. I don’t like him now. He’s not a very interesting conversationalist (which of course makes for terrible TV), has terrible hair, and is kind of a jerk. And he keeps Courtney around (a psycho beyond anything The Bachelor has seen yet). So why am I still watching it?

Moments like this (start watching at 3:30):