From College to Cubicle

In the first shot of this episode the sunburn continues:

Date 1

Sarah gets the first 1:1 date. This makes me happy. She seems like she’s actually a nice person, a little insecure about her lack of arm, but very nice! She also makes me feel pathetic because she’s in that good of shape with one arm, so basically I have no excuse.

The date starts off with a helicopter. How stereotypical Bachelor. Then conquering someone’s fear of heights. Shocker.

Sean listened to her talk about having one arm for all of dinner, then gave her a rose and claimed there were butterflies. “I feel like I’m falling in love with Sean” says Sarah in her slightly whiny voice… She’s known him for less than 24 hours at this point and he’s dating 20 other women, she might be getting a bit ahead of herself.

Quote of the Date: “I do consider myself a man” – Sean. Does that mean others don’t?

 

Date 2

Now we’re on to the world’s largest group date. And of course they put the weird eyebrow chick (Tierra) who the previews tell me will be the crazy one this season. They start the date off in typical Bachelor style in the limos drinking Mimosas, where it appeared only 2 girls even bothered with the orange juice.

They’re going to be modeling for trashy romance book covers. Naturally Kristy, the model who is probably just on the show to get her big break, is really excited. Sean’s shirt comes off immediately, and Kristy wastes no time in poking his abs to see if they’re real.

Robyn then starts talking about how much she doesn’t like Tierra while sitting next to her, and we’re left hanging but I’m going to assume Tierra heard her based on the look on her face:

Tierra then says “Trust me, I’m smart” and winks at the camera with her ridiculous eyebrows moving in their own direction.

They start the photos and according to Sean “Lesley made a big impression on me today,” so he noticed she has abs that rival his, and realized their children would be abtastic.

Kristy wins the cover and is incredibly excited. America rolls our eyes. Kristy (25) “I have practiced in front of the camera for 8+ years” and I assume she’s at most a high school graduate.

This prompts the Quote of the Date: “Girl you can have the cover, I’m going to have the man” – I don’t know who said this, but Kristy was totally after the cover and not impressing the man.

The date continues and Tierra tells us “I’m focusing on me. Otherwise I’m going to get hurt. I’m not here to get hurt.” Then what are you here for? Your reaction to Sean being the Bachelor tells us you’ve watched previous seasons and know your chances are 1/26. In case you missed that reaction here it is:

Lesley and Sean get some 1:1 time. Lesley told herself she wouldn’t tell him she was there for love. What was she going to tell him, that she was there for his abs? “I’ll let you stare all night” he says in their awkward alone time. I chuckle.

Kacie gets the rose and says “I got taken out of the friend zone tonight” because they talked. There were no kisses to establish being out of the friend zone (unless I missed this, entirely possibly since my new dog picked this moment to become enthralled with my Christmas ornaments), but they decided she’s out of the friend zone so she apparently is.

 

Date 3

Poor Desiree only gets a Limo (no helicopter) to take her to an art gallery. “We walk into this art gallery and I absolutely love it” says Desiree. I somehow doubt it. Very very few people would actually enjoy going to an art exhibit. And the 1.5 million dollar piece looks kind of like my elementary school art projects with a Christmas ornament on top. Desiree clearly thinks it’s weird too so I’ve decided I like her.

He then pranks Desiree and the artwork shatters. I’d completely flip. Instead of freaking out and looking ridiculous (that would’ve been my reaction) Desiree freaks out while still managing to look adorable:

Desiree was a good sport about it, and the guy admits that it was a $5 piece of artwork. This shows that the average person can’t tell a weird $5 thing from a 1.5 million piece of artwork. This whole thing also made me think Sean (unlike Emily) is a real person who likes to do things like pranks, so this season should be more enjoyable.

Then Sean takes her back to his place. My favorite part of this date was her reaction to him giving her a rose. After what he did to her he deserved it, and it showed that she also has a sense of humor.

Quotes of the Date:

“You want to be my best friend?” – Desiree to Sean (also a trending topic in the local playground).

“She’s really blowing me away with her depth” – the first time these words have ever been uttered on the Bachelor or really ever in reference to someone in the fashion industry.

“You have seen 100% of me” um unless the cameras left for awhile I don’t think so…

“Our physical connection is phenomenal.” says Desiree before they’ve even kissed.

 

Cocktail Party:

At the cocktail party we are re-introduced to Amanda, who just doesn’t respond to anything. Unless they did some creative editing here that was bizarre. Really bizarre. This is apparently causing tension, but I’d rather have someone who isn’t bothering to talk than Tierra, but that’s just me. Don’t worry though Amanda lights up the second she talks to Sean.

 

Then Amanda starts drinking coffee.  This reminded me of my boyfriend who pregames going out with coffee, except she’s literally drinking coffee at a cocktail party. That’s like going to a pizza party and eating a taco, pointless and against the name of the event!

I can already tell though that Robyn is going to be that girl that lets others get to her this season. Tierra’s really bothering her and so is Amanda. There’s one every season – someone who lets the crazies get to her and it ends up hurting her own chances. I like Robyn so I hope this prediction is wrong. She seems like she actually has some brains behind that former professional cheerleader body (they’re keeping that quiet and playing up the engineer part).

Quote of the Night: “I feel a little silly about that night. The champagne was flowing” says the substitute teacher who wore a wedding dress the first night. Parents everywhere check to make sure their teachers got a flu shot and are never in need of a substitute.

 

Rose Ceremony:

“Love just was not here” – Brooke speaks the truth about the Bachelor mansion over the course of time after not getting a rose.

He also sent home the single mother of two who also happens to be Jef’s hairdresser (show failed to mention that). I kind of liked her and Brooke so them going home over people who the edits failed to even bother with kind of made me sad.

 

Next Episode:

“I can feel Lesley’s body starting to tremble as well as mine” then ambulances and more of Sean’s shirt off are in our future.