I forgot just how awkward these first dates can be. I mean Emily knew almost nothing about the guys and so the first 1:1 dates are so awkward – I feel like they might as well start with “Hi my name’s ________, I’m a banker but quit my job to find ‘true love’ and I’m from Washington” or something along those lines.

Instead, since it’s The Bachelorette, she starts with something like “where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?” Is this a job interview? Ok well I guess it is to her – she’s looking for the driver for her minivan full of babies, but she might as well start with something like “What experience do you have with children?” because she’s for sure looking for that.

Ok about the guys. I’m fully team Arie. There wasn’t enough of them in this episode, but for a girl whose entire life is a story destined for a movie, I think Arie winning her heart would only be a bizarre yet perfect ending. Plus according to their two second talk he has no problem dating women who have children, which hopefully translates to “meets minimum job requirements” in Emily’s mini-van driver search.

Meet Bachelorette Emily Maynard's Men: Arie

And it’s obvious the way she looks at him she likes him far more than most of the other guys there. By the way his dad is a two time winner if the Indianapolis 500, so once again Emily’s potentially dating into a racing family…

Unfortunately Jef is somehow winning her attention.

Meet Bachelorette Emily Maynard's Men: Jef

I feel like he’s never been in a relationship before. I mean he’s avoiding her because he likes her – are we in middle school? Maybe he spent too much time saving the world with his company and not enough time looking for love? Well she obviously likes him so despite the missing f and odd hair I think he’s probably going to stick around for awhile. On paper he’s a great guy, I’m just hoping his f reproduces to make his name “Jeff” and he gets a hair cut during the season.

For some reason I’m not a fan of Ryan. I though his was the cutest date I’ve seen on The Bachelorette/Bachelor yet (baking cookies and delivering them to soccer practice, then a nice dinner). It was so normal. At first I could tell he was disappointed he wasn’t jumping off a bridge or something, but he came around! I just thought the whole date was awkward. Maybe because it was the first 1:1 date, but the chemistry just didn’t seem to be there.

I thought it was interesting Joe went home so early… I mean it seemed like less of an awkward date than, say, Jef on the group date… I know he didn’t specifically say “I want babies now” but he was basically saying he wants to take life wherever it goes, and that he was willing to put all his cards on the Emily and Ricky bandwagon, which is probably a much more realistic answer to the question than the “I want a mini-van full of babies too!” that she must be looking for.

 

Favorite Quotes of the Episode - “I proposed to Miss Piggy,” words I’m guessing Jef never thought he’d say…

“If you like being outside and doing stuff like that” – Arie, you’re gonna have to try lots harder than that to make Scottsdale a place Emily would even want to visit. Does she look like an outdoorsy girl to you?

“I’m up for whatever¬†you have¬†in mind,” (x3) Ryan, I’m sure you are. Now if you could only say that three more times… oh wait. You did. Are you aware her daughter might watch this show someday?