Ok so here’s my thoughts on the first episode:
Kalon “I used to be kind of loud and obnoxious and a womanizer”… um probably not the way you want to introduce yourself to America.
Emily “A minivan full of babies” is what she wants 5 years from now. That’s her first thought. I’m not sure if she wants the guy or the kids…
Emily “When I go to the grocery store guys are not pulling me in 15 different sections of the grocery store”
Favorite moment: Emily’s attempt to respond to the Brazilian guy’s portuguese intro in Spanish. I assume she didn’t realize that they don’t speak Spanish in Brazil…
Thoughts on the Guys:
Kalon: The “former” womanizer is not my favorite, but I’m reserving judgment for later But he plays tennis, which makes me smile The helicopter was a bold move and since you have to stand out somehow on the first night I don’t blame him. Though he flaunts his money around a little too much which bothers me.
Ryan – Teaching really little kids to lift tires isn’t attractive… But I want your dog. And you had a cute intro.
Tony – goofy. I think he might be for Emily if his life weren’t so settled in Oregon. Though if he keeps pulling the “I have a kid too card” he’ll go far. And he knew she’s a princess at heart and used that already so he might be a contender.
Charlie – You win the cutest dog award. Can I steal your bulldog? Also what’s up with all the dogs???
Jef – Cut your hair. Until then no one can take you seriously. And don’t ride a skateboard in to meet someone who has a kid…
Sean – INCREDIBLY awkward hello.
Doug – You pulled the son card WAY too early. But I have to admit that letter was precious, and it obviously made you stand out already.
Joe – You have WAY too much energy. I couldn’t even keep up with the introduction, I felt exhausted just watching it!
Arie – At least he recognized it’s a long shot her falling for another race car driver (even though she claims it isn’t). But I saw the way she looked at you when you introduced yourself… she liiiikes you
Kyle – Boring.
Chris – Talked WAYYYY too much when he introduced himself. And appears to be attempting to stir up drama in future episodes.
Aaron – The glasses were a little goofy looking. But I kind of think she might fall for you. And your corny pick-up line she seemed to fall for, maybe Jackson should take some pointers…
Alessandro – How did you survive a move from Brazil to Minneapolis? I mean talk about a weather change…
Nate – Apparently smells good
John “Wolf” – Emily please go on a date with him soon so I can figure out what a data destruction engineer does!
Travis – Ok the egg thing is really really bizarre.
Michael looks like he belongs in Hanson, not on the Bachelorette. Though if they could convince him to sing mmbop my life would be made…
Alejandro – He’s a charity director and she works (or worked) at a children’s hospital! A match made in “doing good in the world” heaven! I hope she keeps him around awhile.
No Roses For You
Emily, WHY DID YOU SEND LERONE HOME SO EARLY????? He was my favorite after the intros! Then again I’m pretty sure some of the people kept on there are for the entertainment value of the show and not who you would’ve picked, but how did you turn down Lerone???????
Jean-Paul – I don’t know why you and Lerone went home. Apparently she didn’t like that you didn’t creepily look her up before the season started (because let’s be real, very few guys watch the Bachelor so I doubt most of them knew her story before thinking about being on the show).
Randy – Cross dressing like a grandma is not exactly the way to a woman’s heart.
Jackson – Apparently Emily doesn’t fall for corny pick-up lines.
Brent – The nametag didn’t work too well for you bud.
David – No wonder you got sent home. You like her posture? Really? Who says that?
By the way did anyone else notice Emily’s tattoo? Is it new? If not how did I not notice this before?????